PROBLEM 0014: On Critics, Our Sacred Mouthpieces

In which the author tries to quell his cynicism with regards to critics. In which critics are simultaneously praised and criticized. In which Cosmopolis the movie becomes the cannon fired against a canon. And where the author makes a confession that feels goopy.

PROBLEM 0013: Critics Live Your Life So You Don't Have To

In which the author considers the true nature of The Critic. In which he tries to do so without being too offensive, because he like critics, honest he does. And in which a realistic attitude results in this becoming about Life. Also, the author wonders why everything he writes about ends up going this way.

PROBLEM 0012: The Banana Peel of Utility

In which the author gets serious for a moment about utility. In which he wishes desperately that utility would exclude something from art. And where the definition of utility slips on a banana peel and becomes a non-word, because every stinking thing has utility.

PROBLEM 0011: Jackson Pollock At The Garage Sale

In which the author finds a Jackson Pollock at a garage sale. Wherein are found the author’s impressions of the dusty, inexpensive Pollock. Where a narrative is accidentally dripped all over an abstract work. And where real, honest-to-goodness information doesn’t do us any good at all.

PROBLEM 0010: Looking at Art You Just Don't Get and Thank You, Jackson Pollock

In which the author approaches Jackson Pollock with humility instead of ire, which seemed to do something. In which Pollock's "No. 6, 1952" becomes a little more than drips and numbers. In which several other ways of looking at an abstract work of art are offered. And where furniture, for some ungodly reason, comes back a-haunting.